Feel hopeless, wonder if I am alone?

My life's a bad movie, years of trauma catching up to me, living near my perpetrator who molested me, feeling utterly down, haven't been able to do more than volunteer work, feel like everybody is down on me b/c I'm down on myself, my head is like a bad movie too with tons of negative thoughts and worries. I'm really lonely and left my church b/c I can't feel safe or relax around people there and feel like they all look down on me too. Has anyone ever felt this way or been abused in this way?